Remember those schooldays when Friendship Day meant colorful friendship bands, scribbled cards, and a long list of “best friends forever”? Back then, friendship felt simple enjoying the little moments like rushing to buy ribbons for friendship day, pretending to sharpen pencils just to sneak away for a chat, sharing lunch boxes and playing outdoors together. These moments kept the bond growing and while we were eager to grow up, today we find ourselves wishing we could go back in time. As we step in the adulthood phase, the nature of friendship has drastically changed or as most people call it now, “adult friendships.”
We’ve moved out of schools, joined different colleges, settled in new cities, switched careers, got into relationships and all of a sudden we have forgotten how simple and effortless friendships used to be. Although life moves on but does that mean we outgrow friendship? Not really. Adult friendships are just different, not absent. And understanding how they evolve and how to nurture them is essential in today’s world.
The Changing Face of Friendship Day
Once a staple of school culture, Friendship Day was about grand gestures: bands tied around wrists, colorful doodles in slam books, and elaborate plans for the first Sunday of August. It symbolized innocence and inclusion. Everyone was your “best friend” be it the one who gave you a pen while you lost one or the person you have a love-hate relationship with. Friendships during our childhood and school days hit different. Indeed some of us even in our adulthood still have childhood friends or school friends but the feeling of celebrating friendship when we were little is gone. What remains are only memories to cherish.
And in this generation of social media and internet all we now have are simple “Happy Friendship Day” texts sent through a quick Instagram story reply or a WhatsApp message. The excitement has dimmed not because friendships matter less but because life has gotten more complex. Life has gotten to a point where friendships are proved on social media posts, jealousy and insecurity have gotten in the middle, career focused mindset have led us to believe in the “I’m too busy” phase and silently we have lost most of the carefree life, the walk back home from school with friends, the parties that involved half of our neighborhood friends and the bond that now is just a long distance phase.
Childhood Friendships vs. Adult Friendships
We often say childhoods friends stick together and in many cases that’s true! We often find ourselves more bonded with our childhood pals because of the environment we grew up in, the time period spent together and the way every talk or memory today gives us nostalgia of the past. While as we grow old, maintaining adult friendships needs efforts. We may have a group of friends or one single friend and as time passes your friend circle could grow as friendships happen naturally you just click with people be it someone you met in your dance class, at work or even your new roommate.
Although one main thing is maintaining these friendships. We no longer live our childhood days the one where on one call the whole group would come together. Today time is running, schedules clash, careers, families, or personal responsibilities take away our energy. We no longer have time to hit our friends up with a “hi, how are you doing?” text.
In our childhood days we often had big groups and discussed our favorite games and TV shows. Today adult friendships need deep conversations, a sense of understanding, emotional support, trust and respect. As the saying goes, “quantity over quality”, many adults now prefer a group that’s small consisting of one or two friends who stick during the good and bad times.
Why Adult Friendships Are Harder to Maintain
1. Life Transitions
Moving to a new city for work or higher studies, getting married, having children, or dealing with aging parents—all these transitions impact how much time and emotional bandwidth we can dedicate to friends.
2. Long-Distance Challenges
A childhood best friend might now live on another continent. Different time zones, busy lives, and a lack of shared day-to-day experiences make staying in touch challenging. Even simple things like forgetting birthdays become common.
For example, imagine you and your best friend that were once inseparable in junior college, today even though you are in the same city, the hour-long phone calls have turned into hurried texts, the evening meets turned into never seeing one another. Over time, one of you drifted apart all because of life and its way and just like that a friendship that was knitted together no longer exists.
3. Romantic Relationships and Families
Friendships often take a hit when people get into romantic relationships or start families. Priorities shift, and friends may feel neglected or replaced.
4. Social Media Illusion
We often feel connected through Instagram likes or Facebook comments, but this passive engagement can’t replace real conversations or shared emotional experiences. Digital proximity can create a false sense of connection.
So, How Can We Nurture Adult Friendships in Modern Times?
1. Be Intentional
Make plans and honor them. Send that “Hey, let’s catch up” text, but also follow up with a date and time. Friendships don’t survive on nostalgia alone; they need investment.
2. Accept That It’s Okay to Evolve
Don’t mourn every drift. It’s natural for some friendships to fade. Instead, focus on the ones that still hold emotional value, and be open to forming new adult friendships based on where you are in life now.
3. Embrace Digital Tools But Don’t Rely on Them Alone
Use tech wisely. Video calls, voice notes, and shared playlists can keep the spark alive in long-distance friendships. But occasionally go beyond the screen—send a handwritten note or a small care package to show you’re thinking of them.
4. Create Small Rituals
A monthly virtual coffee, a shared Netflix watch party, or even a Sunday walk, tiny rituals give friendships rhythm and continuity.
5. Practice Vulnerability
Adult friendships are nourished by emotional honesty. Talk about your struggles, not just your wins. Being vulnerable makes space for trust and support.
6. Don’t Keep Score
Maybe you’re always the one reaching out first. That’s okay—if the friendship is meaningful, don’t let ego win. People have different capacities at different stages of life.
7. Celebrate Each Other
Don’t wait for birthdays. Celebrate job promotions, breakups survived, or just random Tuesdays. Friendship thrives in shared joy.
Alas, it’s not just about keeping old friends, adulthood is also a time to form new meaningful connections. It might feel awkward at first, but many adults are just as eager for authentic friendship as you are. Friendship in adulthood isn’t about daily calls or inside jokes from school anymore. It’s about showing up emotionally, mentally, and occasionally, physically. It’s about sending a voice note on a rough day, planning a weekend trip even after months of trying, or just saying, “I’m here for you or I’m just a call away.”
As we celebrate Friendship Day in this new phase of life, let’s honor the friendships that stayed, revive the ones worth saving, and make space for new connections. Because no matter how old we get, friendship isn’t a luxury it’s a quiet, sturdy lifeline that keeps us human.
